How to Last - There once was a girl named...
The Grrl / In Brief / Her Pictures / Her Roller Derby league September 2010
 
 
 
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Wed, Jan. 3rd, 2007 10:58 pm
How to Last

41CommentReply

salsuginous
salsuginous
Sunshine Unit
Thu, Jan. 4th, 2007 10:00 am (UTC)

I second everything you are saying.

I'd also like to add that what worked for us when we were in a period of real rockiness was to finally understand that we were always on the same side. Even if it didn't look like it at the moment because of whatever our internal stuff was or during bad communication breakdown. Neither of us were ever intentionally or maliciously trying to hurt/upset/disappoint one another. When we finally really understood that, it lowered both of our defense mechanisms when we argue or run into yichiness.

Not only do I complement Nathan often, I think good thoughts about him every day. It keeps me from seeing him as "that guy who is around and we do things together and I like" and instead I think, "hellooooooo sailor!"

On the back of that, continuing to woo and flirt with each other is important.


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lisa
lisa
Lisa Phillips
Thu, Jan. 4th, 2007 10:03 am (UTC)

You're so right - when you're the type of people like us, you're used to fighting against everyone, and you forget you have people on your side. I'm not sure I ever really had a true AHA moment on that, I think I finally just gave up ;)

The wooing is SO important. I should have added something about dates - because we still have them and they're so important. The last night I had in Seattle we dressed up and went out to Kingfish where we shared wonderful food, drank champagne, and talked about our favorite sexual positions. A truly happy moment!


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henry
henry
#1 Dad
Thu, Jan. 4th, 2007 08:47 pm (UTC)

I have to remember that same-sides thing, that trips me up sometimes.

I think about Lisa all day long; it's torture with her so far away, but I can't stop!


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salsuginous
salsuginous
Sunshine Unit
Thu, Jan. 4th, 2007 08:55 pm (UTC)

It trips me up sometimes too. When I get cranky/defensive, I really have to consciously remember that he is a warm, loving guy who really just wants my love, affection, and acceptance. The exact same things I want from him. I honestly have to stop whatever thoughts I'm having and reason with myself. When I remember that, it's much easier for me to be open and compassionate and stop thinking of him as the bad guy.

I think the two of you are the mostest awesomest. Yay for people being googly over each other after 5 years and hundreds of miles away!


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